Living Doll
by Sephay
Summary: She was a living doll, always under someone elses thumb. The story of Mai as she grows into the young woman in the series.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

I remember that I could have almost anything I wanted as long as I behaved like a lady. My mother taught me everything by keeping me close to her side. All of her teachings came to me easily. I suppose it was from being born from such a high class family. I was not to speak unless spoken to. I was not to partake in childish games or play with toys once I turned ten. Every time I behaved for an event or dinner, I received something I took interest to.

I suppose that my love of dolls turned to disgust because of my mother's rule. Dolls, my favorite plaything when I was younger, were nothing but ornaments and collectables when I turned ten. Dolls were my friends. I related to them easily, for they kept their silence and their positions no matter what. I would tell them things and they would never betray me. However, the shelf now held all of those precious dolls. They left my side because I "outgrew" such petty things.

Yet, I for sometime I looked longingly at a new doll I did not possess. A friend I could have, but could not talk to. After dinner parties and festivals, I would find the latest doll on my bed; my mother's doing of course. It was her way of expressing her love, no matter how conditional as it was. I would take my new friend and place it on a shelf because it was expected of me. Eventually, I tired of wasting my time dreaming of holding dolls and conversing with them.

A year passed and my misery grew. Teas with young ladies and their mothers were dreadfully boring. I stopped receiving dolls or any reward because an "unhappy lady was unappealing" as my mother said. Art lessons and histories bored me. My mother even threw crafts my way, always abandoned. My only solace lay in my father's library, where history scrolls of the war laid on shelves. The glory of war captivated me. Then I realized that the life of a noblewoman was not for me.

Unfortunately, my mother caught me "poisoning" my mind with the details of war. Apparently, these scrolls were the source for my newfound "twisted" fascination of knives. She hid my father's scrolls and forbade me from reading such "horrendous" material ever again. This didn't stop me the least as I found there hiding place and took up sneaking them out of the house to read.

During this time, I attended my first year of "real" school at the Fire Nation Royal Academy for Girls. A decision made by my parents as soon as they found out that Princess Azula left her tutor for the school. In desperate hopes that I would acquaint myself with royalty, they enrolled me for the school. This act spoke volumes of my parents' pettiness. However, as their daughter, I went through with their plan and attended the school, avoiding Princess Azula to spite them.

The Fire Nation Royal Academy for Girls was a tedious school to go to. They taught advanced courses, but gave the girls many perks to motivate them. The girls were kept on a low fat diet, made by one of the most talented chef and crew the Fire nation had to offer. Elaborate gardens with tea areas and koi ponds were where few classes were held and provided a place for the girls to spend their free time in.

My first half of my first year in that dreadfully pompous place, was spent in voluntary isolation. I had refined my face to become cool and uncaring, which sent overly friendly girls away. I spent all of my free time up in a comfortable tree reading dark stories of the Earth Kingdom. No one wanted to talk to a girl that was only interested in dark books and only gave unpleasant looks of disgust. Despite my lovely social life's death, my grades were excellent.

I soon found that my little branch gave the perfect view of Princess Azula's favorite spot, or territory. Despite my disgust for beauty, she did choose the perfect spot of scenic beauty. The Princess took it upon herself to "entertain" other girls. Of course, these were unlucky souls that chose the wrong princess to suck up to as they stumbled away from the beautiful patch of land. Princess Azula had a cold, yet sweet, viciousness about her. Her words would efficiently and utterly tear down any girl, a trait I found really impressive.

Halfway through the year, Princess Azula graced me with her presence. Her manner was very business-like and professional. Her speech was controlled and confident. Princess Azula's posture was regal, yet conveyed a sense of boredom that I could relate to. I had been very polite by leaping down from my perch. I remember her speech of requesting friendship.

"You're given and preferred name is Mai. You are the top of your class, coming second to my own. For a high class lady, you have the spirit of a fighter. All in all, you're above these-what is that word-dolls. You don't go out of your way to associate with these lower class brats. I know you will be a valuable friend, seeing as you won't drag me down. Come to the palace with me after school for a study session. There will be another girl similar to your status attending. Come as you are dressed. That is all," Princess Azula had said.

I had no idea that this was the biggest turning point in my life. For after my first tea with Princess Azula, my life changed completely.

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Please tell me how I did with the characters. I enjoy input and welcome constructive critism. If you believe there is an inconsistency, then please tell me. =)


	2. Chapter 2

Her name was Ty Lee. She was a bubbly active girl. She giggled, smiled, and chattered like living life was the greatest thing ever. The only thing I thought was cool about Ty Lee was that she was an acrobat, something I would never be in my entire life. Ty Lee would giggle and cart wheel, flip, tumble, and jump with happiness as we discussed school and life. Princess Azula joined her sometimes. Sometimes she sat back and watched Ty Lee's bursts of happiness.

As for me, I found the most comfortable tree and sat there. I was comfortable with the view of Ty Lee and Azula's game. Ty Lee beat Azula at cart wheeling and Azula shoved the girl. I sighed; it was so typical of Azula to do that. If Azula was beaten in any game, she dealt with the winner accordingly. Of course, it was rare that Azula lost. Azula was naturally talented with anything that came her way.

We spoke of recent feminist movements. News in the Royal Academy was halted because parents did not want their ladies exposed to the material yet. Fortunately, Azula gave me hope and information. I was very pleased with the older women of the country for their newfound stance in the war. Surprisingly, it was something we could all positively relate to.

I found the whole thing less dull than my mother's friends' teas and dinners. Azula was pleased after the whole event. I was shown the way out of the palace by a senior servant. I was loathing returning to my even more boring life, so I walked slowly. A burst of flame shot out of a doorway ahead. I heard an older man scold someone about breathing and control. Curious, I peered into the doorway, my oblivious guide continued ahead.

An older man with graying hair towered over a boy a little older than me. The boy had brown hair and when he looked up, he had the most confusing look in his golden eyes. I was astonished with his look of, well, I don't really know. It wasn't anger, although I almost mistook it for anger. It was something else. Something I've never seen.

"Lady Mai?" my guide had returned.

I quickly returned to him before I was caught for peeping in on a lesson. The rest of the way was uneventful. Typical.

My mother gushed and cooed at me like I was a baby with praises on befriending the princess. My scowling face dropped when she asked me what I wanted.

"What?" I asked bluntly.

"I was thinking that I should get you something. Is there anything you would like, Dear?" my mother asked me with some apprehension.

My spirits! The woman didn't even know what I wanted. I sighed emphatically as I thought of something that would send her over the roof. Then I realized that there was something that would drive her crazy. It was too soon for it yet. I smirked at my plan.

"I don't want anything quite yet, Mother."

My mother looked distressed for a moment, but then she smoothed her face into one of "wisdom". She gave a small nod.

"Well, Dear, there is no rush, so take your time in deciding," my mother replied wearily

Well, my year went on with juggling Azula, school, Mother, and reading. For the first time in my life, I was terrified. Azula was nice enough, but that was the thing. She would push or hurt me and then change to the nicest person that I couldn't blame. I terrified, but it wasn't the same boring routine, so I stuck around.

School was the same, but I did spend more time with Ty Lee and Azula. My studies never faltered, and my teachers still loved the quite student. Yep, I still hated the place. Giggling girls would pass me as I walked down the hallways. Boys, make-up, teas, blah, blah, blah. At least Ty Lee wasn't that bad. At least, she didn't mind getting her hands dirty.

Mother still insisted on my attendance of teas and such trivial formalities. At those times, being friends with Azula wasn't that bad. Mother couldn't say anything either. Tea with nobility? Or quality time with royalty?

My reads were dimming down. My father's library was only so big, and the school would only supply so much. However, I soon found that Azula had an interest for my type of literature and the royal library was the perfect place to spend time in for peace and quite. We only did such things when Ty Lee was unable to come. At those times, I found it best to just listen to Azula and not to speak a word. She didn't like ideas that she didn't think of first.

Surprisingly, it was Ty Lee who took it upon herself to teach me new things. I was pushed into joining Azula and Ty Lee for a cart wheeling game. Of course, I lost. I had never tried doing such active things. Azula had laughed and Ty Lee smiled a little. Soon after my defeat, Ty Lee took me aside when Azula was firebending and taught me.

Ty Lee's bubbly personality, annoying as it was, disguised her sensitivity toward others' feelings. She "sensed" my need for strength and challenge. Although my skill as an acrobat paled in comparison, I had learned the basics. From there I could expand my knowledge if needed. My flexibility, balance and even strength improved from her tutoring.

Although she never asked for anything in return, I subtly tutored her with her studies. For such an active girl, she wasn't the brightest torch of the bunch. When we stretched and climbed trees, I would slip in a question or two from lessons I knew she struggled through. Her grades weren't too great to begin with, but with my help, they improved.

Toward the end of the year, I found out who the boy was. It was none other than Prince Zuko. I was astounded on how different he looked from that day to all of the ceremonial things I'd seen him attend. He looked…nice. I often saw him trailing after his mother when we, the girls, played outside. And one time, he saved me from the scariest situation.

On that day, I had to keep my poker face in place. I honestly didn't care about Azula's game that had me as the target. I still had the human fear of pain though. I stood my ground and waited. Azula had on her I'm-about-to-cause-you-pain smirk. I saw Zuko look concerned from where he was next to her. He knew the game was risky. As she shot forth a flame, I saw him take off toward me. I didn't feel any heat as the apple caught fire. I just stood there like an idiot watching him charge into me as he shoved me over.

The next thing I knew, I was soaked. I looked up and saw Azula and Ty Lee laughing and giggling at my current state. Then I saw Prince Zuko. He was so angry and upset at himself. He stood sopping wet with fountain water. I wished I could watch him forever as he left in a rush, but that would have drawn even more attention to me. That day, I knew that I had to get closer to Prince Zuko.

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This chapter was revised a little to flow into future chapters. =) I realized I forgot to add the Fire Nation Feminist Movement because there were women in episodes fighting for the fire nation.


	3. Chapter 3

I was happy. For the first time in my life, I was truly happy. I had seen Prince Zuko in one of the palace corridors leading to the entrance about a day ago. Not only that, but I actually held a proper conversation. It had gone somewhat like this-

"Hey, you're Azula's friend," he had said almost accusingly.

"And you are Prince Zuko," I replied with a steady voice.

Then as he turned to leave, I spoke up a bit more.

"Thank you."

"Huh?" he spun around with confusion written clearly on his face. I smiled a little at his simplicity.

"For saving me from the burning apple," I explained quickly.

He turned pink a little and looked away for a while. I wondered for a short time if I should have mentioned it at all. Then, he faced me again uncertainty clear in his face.

"Uh, don't mention it," Prince Zuko said.

"Well, I'll just be going then, Prince Zuko," I said as I went my own way.

"Wait," Prince Zuko said with panic creeping into his tone,"Uh, you can call me Zuko instead of Prince Zuko."

I turned and smiled softly. "And my name is Mai, not Azula's friend, Zuko," I replied.

I sighed and turned another page of my book, not really reading any of its contents. The conversation I had with Pri-Zuko played over and over again. He was so simple; it would have been easy to just think of him as pathetic. Yet, I felt drawn to him. I couldn't put him down as pathetic when he could be so-so-I don't even know. I just hoped that he didn't hate me.

"Alright, you're reading that book too quickly, and your sighing is getting on my nerves," a sharp voice stated.

I turned toward the voice, broken away from my thoughts. Azula stood over me like a tower to an ant. Her hawk like eyes burned into mine as if daring me to keep quiet. I suppressed a shudder of fear.

"You want me to stop, Azula?" I asked flatly.

"Yes, I do. So, Ty Lee is coming over in about five minutes. I say we play a game then feed the turtle ducks," Azula ordered.

"Alright, Azula, sounds good," I said and tried to return to my book.

I caught Azula smiling out of the corner of my eye, and then she brought up a subject I liked to avoid.

"I think you live too far away, Mai," Azula drawled.

"From?"

"From here, silly. And we're always spending time here, so you always have to travel so far from there to here to there again. Don't you think it would be better if you moved closer?" Azula said "sweetly".

I sighed. Azula started bringing up this subject when it was just the two of us about a week or two ago. Ty Lee already lived close by, so I highly doubted that Azula was pestering her with these insinuations. We had been friends for about a year and a half now. I wondered why she chose this moment to suggest that I move.

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late-" Ty Lee paused at the tense atmosphere.

"Ty Lee, Mai was just sharing exciting news," Azula stated with an I-know-what-you-don't-know tone.

I glanced up at Azula suspiciously. I already had an idea of what she was going on about.

"What is it?" Ty Lee squealed looking at me expectantly.

"Mai has announced that her family is moving just across from the palace!" Azula said with mock excitement. She already knew what was going to happen. She knew before even I even thought of it.

"That's great!" Ty Lee exclaimed as she back flipped with happiness.

"Now, we'll all be closer together. Doesn't that make you happy?" Azula asked me, daring me to disagree.

"Oh yeah, ecstatic," I replied sarcastically.

And the day went on, Ty Lee was oblivious and Azula always prodded me for a rise. At the end of the day, however, something nice happened. I saw him again. Except, this time, he looked down.

I was leaving the palace for the day. I knew the palace fairly well, so I was left to my own devices after Azula was done being with me. No servant accompanied me anymore. It was boring to be left alone, but it would have been even more dreadful to be accompanied. Then, I saw him after I turned a corner.

He was looking at the ground, lost in his own thoughts. His brow was furrowed as he passed her. Something must have happened. I paused. His footsteps never faltered as he went further and further away from my reach. I was concerned. Without thinking, I turned around to speak.

"Zuko!" I called. He stopped, slightly surprised by my presence. I didn't let his cute face tear me down like I usually did.

"Don't let it bother you too much. Things will get better," I stated blandly. I just couldn't get the right concern to inflect in my voice. I really wasn't used to comforting people. I hoped it cheered him up because it took him a while to think of a response.

"Uh, thanks, Mai. Well, I apologize for not being able to stop for long, but I must go to a meeting," Zuko said with a small smile.

I nodded and turned away as he did. A small blush crept up my cheeks as I heard his footsteps taper off into the distance. My own footsteps led me away from him as well. I sighed. He called me Mai, which means he remembered me. Not only that, but my first pep talk actually worked. I smiled for the first time in a long time, and didn't know that there would be more to come.

After two weeks of that encounter, I saw Zuko again. This time he was happy. I smiled a little at his happiness, and prayed he would stop awhile to talk to me. His eyes brightened with recognition as he spotted me. Instead of walking over immediately, he looked around the hall as if looking for something. Then, he started to laugh, and made his way over. My eyebrow raised in question. He smiled and gestured to the hallway.

"We always seem to bump into each other in this hallway," Zuko said with a chuckle.

"Oh, well, you seem happy today. What's up?" I asked feigning a disinterested tone.

"My day is just getting better and better, actually. This morning, I finally mastered my steps and moved on to the next level. On top of that, I get to see my da-I mean, the Fire Lord. What about you?" he replied with a grin, undeterred by her tone.

"Same old day," I replied drearily, hatful of being reminded of my boring life.

"Oh, hey, if you'd like, you could join me for a walk around the courtyards," Zuko said with a smile.

"Okay, count me in," I said with my own smile.

"Cool, meet me here, then," Zuko said.

And that was it. I kept cool about being invited around the girls. Then, after we completed our homework, I left for the entrance. As I approached the hallway, I had to calm myself a little from the jittery feeling in my chest.

Zuko was leaning against a wall twirling a dagger in his hand, switching hands every once in a while. His face looked soft as he focused on the simple task. I caught myself smiling slightly. I ventured closer, and he looked up upon hearing my soft footsteps. His face lit up, again. I couldn't help but let my own soft smile grow a fraction bigger.

"Hey, how are you?" he asked.

"I'm bored." I replied honestly.

"Let's change that then," Zuko said with a smile and then started for the doorways to the courtyard.

We walked leisurely through the gardens talking about trivial things. I enjoyed his presence and the way he spoke of things was just passionate. I only hoped that he didn't find my own personality bland and unappealing. Our conversations ranged from studies to his fire bending training.

"So, I plan on being able to master the steps in about three more days," he said with his eyes bright with pride for his work.

"That's great, Zuko. Just don't push yourself too hard. I wouldn't want you to get seriously hurt."

"Don't worry. I'll be fine, Mai," he said. I could tell that he took my comments seriously from his expression.

Most of our walk had compatible silence between the conversations. It wasn't uncomfortable and was really pleasant. His presence was soothingly warm. His excitement about everything made me feel less empty. I didn't feel annoyed and hateful towards his voice as he spoke fondly of his mother. It was a rare day, and I really liked it. And all too soon, we had to part.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Zuko asked.

"Of course, I practically live here," I answered with a playful eye roll.

Maybe the move wouldn't be too bad, I thought to myself later that night. Azula was scary, but nice. Ty Lee was bearable, but sometimes really irritating. Zuko. Zuko out weighed those small downs. Compared Azula's cruelty and Ty Lee's babblings, then Zuko was enough to make up my mind about the move to the upper ranks in the palace area. I let a small part of me feel excited about the move.

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This chapter hasn't gone under major changes if any at all. =) I just went through all of the chapters to make sure everything was up to one point. Again, please review about the changes or any inconsistencies. I love hearing from you all.


	4. Chapter 4

I am Mai, a twelve year old young lady. I am standing away from my parents in this room because Azula is busy and Ty Lee is ill, and I'd rather not deal with them fawning over me. Being alone was fine, but I had rather had been with someone around my age. I am at an official's party searching out a certain someone with my eyes. I hoped against all hopes that I could find this person. This someone was a young man, who I've enjoyed conversing with over the months. Chance encounters were no more, and we found ourselves actively seeking each other. We coped through palace life. I am the Princess's noble friend, and he is actual royalty, the Prince. Despite the small gap in title, I hoped our friendship turned into something more. For my crush was rapidly turning into something else. It seemed that I could only feel with him around me. I only wished that he felt the same.

Then, I felt a presence to my right. Of course, somehow he had made it to my right side. I looked at him questioningly, but he only gave me a friendly smile and offered me a seat.

"Hm, our meetings are becoming a frequent occasion," I stated casually.

"Well, you're my sister's friend and you're often at the palace," Zuko started to reply.

"Am I not your friend as well?" I lightly asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, yeah," he said with a blush.

We sat there in silence as the dinner party continued. Food was set before us and I only picked at my food. As for Zuko, he ate his fill politely. Somehow, I turned out to be more of a picky eater than the prince, I noted. As I ate a fruit tart, my favorite dish ever, people rose to stand and talk in groups. Soon, laughter and the small tides of chatter filled the room. People, I thought with a hint of disgust. Then, I realized that Zuko had not yet left my side. A warm feeling spread from my core.

"Um, hey, you want to go out?" Zuko asked after I finished polishing off my fruit tart.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"I asked, 'Do you want to go outside?'" Zuko asked again.

"Sure," I said. He changed his wording, which meant that his first question meant what I thought it meant.

He smiled a little nervously and we both snuck outside for a walk. The night sky looked like what some would call beautiful. Same old sky to me, it was just darker. The garden's beauty was concealed in the darkness, but it was fine with me. Then, I spotted a good looking tree, and realized that this was our destination. Zuko sat down under a tree and I followed his example. The ground was fairly comfortable.

"So, I've been thinking that we're pretty close, right?" Zuko started nervously.

"Yes," I answered.

"Then, maybe we should court," he said.

I looked at him for the first time since we left the party. Even in the dark, I could tell that his face was flushed, and he was fighting the urge to fidget. When Zuko spoke of feelings, he fidgeted, especially when he wasn't comfortable.

"Um, okay-I mean I accept. My father will be free in two days. Thank you for making sure I wanted to, Zuko," I replied, a blush made its way to my cheeks. I only hoped that the darkness hid it, and that I conveyed my feelings appropriately. Of course, it was hard to express something you only felt in front of one person.

We sat there for a few minutes thinking about what to do, now. It seemed like all awkwardness was out for the other to see. It was relieving. Everything was in the open. I was glad because I stunk at expressing myself.

"So, you're sure that you want to court?" Zuko asked.

"Yeah, Zuko, that's what I said," I replied with a roll of my eyes. Sometimes, he was very insecure. Yet, I couldn't really blame him. I mean, Azula was his sister.

We sat in companionable silence. It was nice, just the two of us being together. The night passed on and occasionally, we spoke of trivial things. And all too soon, my parents were going around trying to collect me. I sighed as I prepared myself to get up and deal with my parents. Zuko stood and offered me his hand. I took it.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you had planned this whole thing out," I said with a hint of accusation.

He shrugged and then hugged me with a small kiss. Technically, we weren't allowed to have physical contact before courtship, but I knew my parents would accept at any cost. "Mm, yep, I'm the conniving one. I'll be seeing you, Mai. Goodnight," he said.

I was loathe to leaving his warm embrace and wished he would kiss me again, but my parents were on the verge of panic trying to find me. He gave me a knowing smile as I rolled my eyes at their frantic calls. They were so annoying. Doubly so when it came to Zuko and me time, such as now.

"Good night, Zuko," I whispered.

If I had known that would have been the last time in a long time that I would see my Zuko again, then I would have never had left him there under that tree. I would have never had missed a single day by his side, if I had known such a thing could happen.

It seemed so basic that I would see him again that being separated never even crossed my mind. Yet, I can't change such things now. They are foolish wishes after all.

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Short chapter, sorry. I changed the wording to this chapter to better fit the storyline. Please tell me how I did. I love hearing from you all! =)

Thank you, Deimos for pointing that out! I definately use some of the current vernacular and customs. I went through most of the chapters and added a few things here and there, but not much.


	5. Chapter 5

Events had picked up after that night. Azula had become restless, which meant hell for Ty Lee and me. The princess had taken up the nasty habit of sneaking in even more biting remarks, and yet she did not make up for them like she usually did. Her false kindnesses were rapidly dwindling until there was not an ounce of kindness in my friend any longer. Although she wasn't too kind to begin with, nowadays she had turned utterly ruthless. Ty Lee was always hurt, but somehow she always smiled, but it was a pained smile with watery eyes. As for me, I blew off most of Azula's remarks. Then, she found my weak point one day by putting down Zuko. After a few days of suppressing the urge to slap her silly, I was ready to snap.

To make things worse, I had not seen Zuko at all since that night. Not only that, but he had not yet spoken to my father for permission to court me. I sighed with renewed bitterness. Zuko was probably busy with his duties. I did not even have the chance to catch a glimpse of him in the hallway. I was missing him terribly and angry at the same time for not putting a little bit of our time at the top. I at least wanted enough time to get my father in on the deal, and ultimately stop any girl that looked his way twice. These problems were mounting to disproportional sizes. Never in my life have I been so distraught, but some piece inside me was happy that I felt something as opposed to nothing.

My father confronted me after two weeks of this torture. We do not normally see eye to eye, but there are some occasions in which I know that I am his daughter.

"Mai, dear, it has come to my attention that things that have come up recently, and I believe it would be best for you to take a small vacation," he started with concern. It was then that I realized that my frustrations must have been noticed by him, even though he wasn't sure of what they were. I suppose that there was a first for everything. I gave him a small smile, which encouraged him to continue.

"I think your uncle misses you. Would you like to visit him in his residence in the Colonies?"

"Thank you, Father," I said formally. There was a tinge of gratitude in my voice, and I was proud that I portrayed my emotion properly.

I packed my own things with my comfy clothes. Uncle's house would be a nice retreat from the worries of the royal siblings. He was an exuberant man who blatantly showed his affection toward me, his one and only niece. It was nice to be doted on without reason, but there was something even better at his place. I was left to my own devices most of the time to do as I willed for he was a busy man in the military.

I left the next day in my father's ship. My journey was somewhat unusual. After two days of journey, I longed to see land and new books. The ones I took were absolutely boring. And on the third day, I had a mysterious gift on my cabin bed. It was a small, wooden chest. Although there was nothing extraordinary about the chest itself, the contents were beautiful. Shiny knives winked at her from the sunlight streaming through the window. _Interesting._ Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I immediately lifted one from its resting place.

It was light and easy to handle. I thought back to my father's library and all of the wonderful books explaining the different uses and types of knives. The knife in my hand would be excellent in distance fighting. Not only that, but this situation was perfect for indulging my dream of being a fighter. It also didn't hurt that it would greatly relieve my boredom.

**Thud.** _That didn't go well,_ I thought. The knife hadn't even made contact with the wall and had embedded itself in the wooden flooring. I picked up the knife from its wedged place in the floor. I weighed the weapon in my hand. My eyes closed with concentration as I got the feel of the knife. I looked at the wall and threw it with more force. **Thud**. I smirked with triumph. It was a start. The rest of the trip was constantly filled with pleasing thuds as the knife hit the wall.

My uncle was very exuberant in greeting me. I stiffened at his loud voice and firm hug. He was always so affectionate. I told him the customary stories of what was happening with my family. He questioned little, but I could tell he wanted more from my concise summaries. Yet, always the doting uncle, he pushed his own wants aside and immediately requested my wants. I told him that I desired nothing much, but a little time to myself away from palace life. He was very understanding, and only requested my presence for mealtimes and special occasions during my week visit.

Once out of my uncle's grasp, I immediately retreated to the guest bedroom, which was to be my room for the trip. I took down the medium sized mirror from the wall and set it on the ground. I skimmed my luggage for the precious box and found it. The box opened and I stared at the shining knives. I picked the one I had been working with. I took up my familiar position and continued what I had started on the ship.

With every throw, I felt a little bit better about my situation in the Fire Nation. Azula was Azula. I knew that the moment I saw her. She was one to do as she pleased and only thought twice about it when it benefited her. And as for Zuko, he was trustworthy. He would discuss things with my father when the time was right. He was not one to lie. I trusted Zuko's business as his own business and nothing else.

I tired as night fell. I had to unpack still. I changed for the night and slipped into the unfamiliar bed. I packed away the knife and put the box in a safe place. No one could mess with this special box. My eyes closed, and I dreamed of nothingness.

The next morning, I woke to a light rap on my door. I growled with irritation. Who dared to disturb me? My question was answered as the offender spoke.

"Mai, are you up?" my Uncle's muted voice asked.

I sat up and glared at the door. "I am now, Uncle," I replied with a dangerous edge of sarcasm. I glanced out the window and stifled a groan of frustration. It was still dark.

"Good! I was worried that you would be asleep. I was just wondering what you would like for breakfast."

It took little self control to not throw the little wooden box open and stab the man now. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I realized that there was no reason to deny my "dearest" uncle of my presence for breakfast. I slowly rose from the bed and slipped on some clothes that were presentable.

I made my way to his dining area. He sat at the far end of the table, so I sat on the other end. His patient smile made me slightly sorry for the distance I put between us for my uncle loved me like a daughter since he had none. I put my regret behind me and picked at the food. The man woke me up too early to deserve my pity. He told me of entertaining things around town, and after a while I tuned him out. Finally, he rose and bid me farewell.

After he left, I went to my quarters and dressed in my usual attire. I glanced out my window. It was an ugly sunny day. I looked at the abused wall opposite of my bed. Perhaps my habits should be outdoors, but, then again, my uncle wouldn't really care. I picked up the box and perused its contents. I picked up a stiletto and headed for the shady tree outside.

My vacation in my uncle's house was relatively dull. It was different for a while, but then I became dull with the routine. Hopefully, I would receive news from Zuko or my father regarding our courting. Each day, I became a little angrier at the delay, which was supposed to be cured with the trip.

Finally, after four days on land, I received a letter. I eagerly read the name of the sender. Azula. My face fell. I suppose that was what I deserved for hoping. Shrugging it off I began to read.

_Dearest Mai,_

_I must admit that palace life has become unbearably lifeless without your presence. When I first learned of your disappearance, I was quite surprised. Was there something bothering you? Or was your uncle that pressed to see you? As your friend, I must say that I am very concerned. And, on behalf of Ty Lee, I think I speak for her when I say that she longs to see you very soon, a sentiment that I deeply share._

_Fascinating news has reached my ears. Women are allowed in the military to fight. Isn't that wonderful? Of course, I try to advocate women's rights as much as I can. The world knows that they need to be more useful if we are to win this war. Oh yes, Ty Lee has taken up hand to hand combat. She is so suited for that kind of role for she is so physical and limber. I, of course, can rely on firebending, but there is something left to be desired. Whatever it is, I'm sure to find it. Mai, I hope you will consider the choices that are now open to you. On the rare occasions I find spare time to fantasize, I've been thinking that a katana would suit you perfectly. In fact, if you so desire, I will immediately acquire one for you as a gift from a dear friend._

_In other news, I must give you tidings from my beloved brother. I believe you'll find it amusing that I still love to tease him. Recently, I have found something interesting about his face. I believe it has always had a certain fiery expression that is quite amusing. It is more pronounced nowadays. I wonder what it could be. Well, I think he would like to say that he misses you very much. I suppose the two of you have been meeting occasionally from the way he speaks._

_Please write as soon as possible. Or better yet, come home to your friends who miss you very dearly._

_Yours truly,_

_Azula_

I rolled my eyes at the sarcasm in the letter. It was practically soaked in the substance. I reread the portion about Zuko. Whatever could she mean by it? Then, again, Azula was known to send people in a frenzy by vague suggestions. But I was puzzled at what she was insinuating.

Five days into the trip, I knew that the trip was now useless. Azula's letter was a mystery still and I couldn't help but wonder. It was time to go back home and hunt down Zuko. And when I saw him I would twist his arm until he spoke with my father. The wait was getting ridiculous. So, I spoke to my uncle that night.

"Uncle, I believe it's time I go back home."

"Oh, have you had all your fun so soon?" he asked with concern.

"Yes, and I miss my family," I said with a wistful smile. _I'm a little too good with lying_.

"Alright, I'll have my ship take you tomorrow if you're missing them that much," he said, mistaking my smile for that of homesickness.

The trip back home was so dull and boring that I could have died. The box of daggers was my only welcomed companion and source of entertainment. Finally, the ship docked. I stood up from my spot on the bed and immediately made my way up. I could finally get off this stinky boring ship. I hid my grimace at the two who greeted me.

"Welcome home, Mai," Azula greeted with a killer smirk.

"Mai!" was the only thing I heard before a blur of pink embraced me.

"Azula. Ty Lee," I acknowledged while extricating myself from the excited pink girl's arms.

I was forced to speak of my trip by Azula. She was up to something. I could tell by her smile. It spoke volumes of unheard of secrets. Her smile was of one closely in tune with the dark secrets of the Fire Nation. Nothing could bode well when Azula bared her teeth in such a way. I only prayed that it had nothing to do with me.

The two dropped me off at my home. I was beginning to feel uneasy for I was the only one to reveal any news. Azula had blown away my customary questions with the excuse that nothing had happened since the letter. I bowed my thanks and was hugged again by Ty Lee. Then, I entered my home. I would need to be prepared for my hunt. My mother greeted me with indifference. My father, however, took me aside to his study. He started with customary questions about the trip, which I was obliged to answer. Then, he started a new subject.

"Mai, while you were gone, Prince Zuko-" I straightened instantly at his tone. He paused, unsure of what to do with such a reaction, but then continued.

"Prince Zuko has been banished," he ended weakly.

The instant the words sunk into my head, several things happened quickly, yet achingly slowly. My heart had dropped to the pit of my stomach. I stood frozen in shock; my face betraying nothing. The one time to express horror and my face wouldn't cooperate. Slowly, a numb feeling spread from my center to my limbs and I heard myself think again. Only they weren't coherent thoughts, just one emotion. Anger. I was seething and just on the edges did my anger show. I stood and glared the man down.

"Do not speak in such a way. Why was I not informed earlier?" I asked harshly.

My father stood there and then sat down for his legs were weak. He dropped his head into one of his head in shame. He looked mournfully at me and then explained," About a two days after you left, it was announced that Prince Zuko would fight an Agni Kai with Fire Lord Ozai. Prince Zuko lost on the day of Agni Kai without a fight. The Fire Lord banished him. Princess Azula thought it would be better to give the news when you were home."

I couldn't stand it any longer, I turned my heel and left. I tore through the house not really knowing where I was going and all the time I contemplated the situation.

Somehow, I wasn't surprised that Azula had kept me from the most important news ever, the most terrible news that I had ever heard. Zuko had fought his father in an Agni Kai and lost. How could the Fire Lord banish his own flesh and blood, Zuko? Why did Zuko's father even consider an Agni Kai as a form of punishment? How had this even happened?

The raging fire in my limbs slowly morphed into a cold numbness with each thought. I knew why his father had done such a thing. It was almost like asking why Azula was the way she was. It was the same reason why Ursa, Zuko's mother, disappeared. His father was poison.

I was furious again at the thought of not seeing Zuko. And now I found myself in my own room feeling everything and yet nothing at all. The cold calm inside me overrode my anger muddled head. I had to approach this rationally. I had to find Zuko, at least to see him one more time. I could travel. At least, I could if I found a good reason to leave home.

The other alternative would be to appeal for a trip with Azula and Ty Lee. Perhaps we could catch him. But my thoughts were dashed with multiple complications. Zuko had had a twelve days start on his ship which was made for speed and battle. The ship we would most likely take would be a cruise ship. Then there was the other problem. Azula would know, like she always does. I had to do it alone.

How would I ever get a good reason to go out into a man's world alone without Azula on my back? Even with the newest breakthrough in women rights? How would I achieve such a thing?

Night fell and I had to sleep for Azula would see me tomorrow, yet questions plagued me throughout the night.

* * *

So, I tossed the other Chp. 5 with good reasons.

No 1-I hated the flow, and foolishly posted it anyway.

No 2- it was a huge stretch for my imagination that Mai, the way she is now, could manage the feat.

No 3-Ursa was so cool that she blinded my judgement. She will be used in later chapters. However, I accidentally slipped her in too soon.

No 4- this chapter is longer. =)

Tell me what you think please!


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